Absenteeism
by Licet
Summary: She no longer knows how to function without a Salvatore in her life  Stefan's absenteeism takes a toll, but not the one expected. Turns out, absence does not, in fact, make the heart grow fonder.


Disclaimer:Believe me, if I owned TVD, you'd know. Mostly because it'd be 50 straight minutes of Somerhalder…perhaps if you agree we can put our allowances together eh?

Also, the song belongs to Alexz Johnson. From Instant Star, in case you didn't know…if you care which you probably don't…

"It's a stupid plan, Elena."

"You've done it before, why's now any different?"

_Everything I've held has hit the wall _

"Before I was dealing with half-starved vampires still stuck in 1864! Before, we actually knew where he was! Before, I didn't have to worry about you being such a liability!"

She stomps her foot. "I can take care of myself Damon."

_What used to be yours isn't yours at all _

The group sits in silence, watching the fight play out like a tennis match; the seasoned player backing the younger into a corner.

_Falling apart, and all that I'm asking_

In a moment, Damon, who'd been looking at maps over Bonnie's shoulder is directly behind Elena, her body pressed to every inch of his chest. One arm encircles her upper torso while the other gently but firmly exposes her next to him. "Dead," he says softly against her skin, pressing a kiss to her throat to prove a point. She hadn't even seen him move.

_Is it a crime, am I overreacting?_

Body still trapped against his she can feel the full force of his anger and frustration, but rather than inspiring fear, it fuels her own. She struggles against him, but cannot stop his words from entering her ears. "When you come up with a plan that makes you more than a temperamental little girl who stamps her feet," he's not above using her behavior against her, "something that has you as more than an extra body and unnecessary liability, less of a deli tray, feel free to offer your input."

_Braids have been un-tied as ribbons fall away_

"Turn me then," she snarls, knowing in an instant then, that she's gone too far. He stiffens almost hurling her away from him. The shuffling of papers from people pretending to mind their own business ceases. Watching them fight is like watching a car crash. It's too late to stop, and you want to look away but you can't. A morbid sort of fascination keeps you hooked.

_Leave the consequence but my tears you'll taste_

They wait for the inevitable explosion but Damon simply turns to her brother and wordlessly gestures before going back to the table and speaking softly to Alaric and Bonnie, not looking at her once.

Jeremy grabs her arm, "Come on, let's go." Dismissed. She's been dismissed. Damon has taken over her friends and they're kicking her out. Unbe-freakin-lievable. She yanks her arm out of her brother's grip, managing only two steps before Caroline blocks her way. She is nervous but resolute, twisting her hands.

_Falling apart and all that I question_

"Elena maybe you should just…." She doesn't say calm down. That's never good thing to say to any woman, not to mention that Elena is mad, no furious; she knows from experience that Elena never really gets this angry at anyone. Well, never at anyone but him, she amends. "He means well. He's doing this for you."

It's the only comfort she can offer because he's already said that he could simply wait it out until Stefan's deal with Klaus was up, and collect his brother. He has eternity, he's doing this for Elena, who doesn't. Even Katherine had said something similar to the effect when she'd delivered information on Stefan's last known location, claiming 'one must know the goings on of their enemy'.

_Is this a dream or is this my lesson?_

Elena's eyes soften but by no means is she calm. Turning on her heel with a last glare to Damon she exists the boarding house, slamming the door behind her. Caroline flinches when she hears the door slam, wondering exactly how she could have missed this fire, this raging inferno, this passion that only Damon seems to arouse(it's sad that the most emotion Elena shows nowadays is when she's with Damon, fighting or not).

_I don't believe I'll be alright, I don't believe I'll be OK_

It scares her a little bit because it reminds her of Katherine. The way her eyes narrow and she puts her hands on her hips ready to fight, as if she could take Damon, no problem. It reminds her of Katherine, and yet it also reminds her of the Elena that had existed before her parents died. The one that was a little bit spoiled, and often selfish but still lovable. The one that had fought for what she wanted, and had not been afraid to want a lot.

_When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine_

Of course, she thinks, watching Damon's shoulders tense until he'd heard the door slam, she'd missed a lot of things. Like all of them, she'd wanted to believe that Damon's obsession was unrequited.

_Oh, my permission to sin, you might have started my reckoning_

She doesn't count the pills in her hand as she downs them in a go; feeling almost instant relaxation in her routine. She lives in them now. Routines. Wake up, pretend she's okay. Hang around friends who eventually hand her off to Damon. Her routines start and end with him. In the thirty minutes it will take for them (her Damon-killers she nicknames them on a good day) to kick in she'll take a shower, brush her teeth, and crawl into her bed, where she'll see just how long it takes before she opens the window in silent invitation.

_Oh, he's under my skin, just give me something to get rid of him_

It's gotten to the point where she doesn't sleep without him. Where she starts to panic if she hasn't seen him in a while. When her mind plays tricks on her and she thinks, from the corner of her eye, she sees a flash of messy hair. Maybe he won't come tonight. Remembering the earlier fight her heart clenches. If he doesn't come she won't be able to sleep. He'll come she assures herself while simultaneously detesting her weakness. If he doesn't come, she'll go to him, she knows. The bed dips and her heart unclenches. StefanStefanStefan. Its her mantra, to remind herself what's important when his aftershave drifts into her nose, and when her traitorous body reacts to his presence.

_I've got a reason now to bury this alive._

"Are you okay?" She's smiling that familiar tired smile again, the one that doesn't quite reach her eyes and reminds him very much of Katherine. They don't bring up the fight, which while on the harsher side was more an effect than a cause. He knows the cause, its getting to her, Stefan's absence. He's right but not in the way he thinks. What gets to her is that she thinks of him less every day, that every day the younger is gone pieces of their past float back and she finds now that he's not here to make her think of a brighter future, the pieces aren't so shiny. They don't carry the same glow. I think of him less every day, she wants to say. I think of him less and I think of you instead. "I'm fine."

_another little white lie…_

Author's Note:  
>Come to think of it, I'm not really sure if the song fits but when I pictured it in my mind it worked so… whatever.<p>

Anyway, you should review cause they feed my soul and all that jazz, but mostly because if you review then I know you liked it or didn't like it and its helps me to get over my major freakouts of posting and you'll get to see more of my stuff…if you like it…or if you give me ways to improve so you like it…


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